|starbucks cashier:||how can i help you|
|me:||i summon hazelnut latte in attack position. i activate the magic card "size grande" and apply it to my coffee. hazelnut latte allows me to special summon a cheese danish from the dessert section and set it in defense position. i set credit card face down and end my turn.|
Promoing at the beach
Ancient Roman prostitutes did something similar, but usually they would have phalluses inscribed in their sandals. So, if you were ever in the mood, you could just look down and follow the dicks.
follow the yellow dick-road
I love history lessons on tumblr.
What? Bisexual? She can’t be bisexual, you’re only bisexual if you’re actively fucking two people of two differing genders at the same exact time. The moment you stop fucking them you’re suddenly not…
GUYS THERE IS A HEART IN MY FRIDGE, I WENT TO GO LOOK FOR SOMETHING TO SNACK ON AND I FIND A FUCKING HEART SARAN WRAPPED AND SITTING ON THE SHELF! WHY IS THERE A FUCKING HEART IN MY FRIDGE??????
THIS ISN’T A FUCKING JOKE MAN
THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE
LOOK AT THE FUCKING SIZE OF THIS THING IT BLED ALL OVER ME
WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FAMILY I LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF SEATTLE????
SO I LOOKED IN OUR FREEZER AND…